(and yes, it’s 3am)
All will be Explained
Sorry, not much health stuff to report. Hope I don’t bog you down too much with my ‘other stuff’.
Days ago, probably inspired by Radio 2s coverage of a 500 word story competition for children, for which famous children’s writers from J.K. Rowling to Jacqueline Wilson and David Walliams were interviewed as they explained just how to construct a story. Whether a novel or a short story for children they each had their own techniques.
I got out of the car on one of these days with a powerful first gripping line or two which began like this ‘I knew it was going to happen the signs all pointed to just one thing...’ Now three or four days later...can I remember what ‘I knew was going to happen’? Can I heck. I’ve been racking my poor tired and now knackered old brain for that elusive start, now absent from my consciousness. Was it a medical revelation? Perhaps a religious intervention? Winning numbers for the Lottery, or just me messing with a minor thought to ‘sex’ up a boring blog? Whatever the case, I now have my opening paragraph...you’re reading it...job done!
However, it is still soooo bugging me!!!
“No... leave the dark chocolate digestives alone” says the voice of reason as I now gravitate towards the box instinctively. Don’t worry, that was only my first thought as I made a coffee to settle down here with, in an attempt to write this blog... not my ‘inspired and explosive’ first line re-surfacing in a burst of ethereal energy (although I have done worse). Just watch the rubbish intake Copley...steroids are upon you once again like little devils gnawing away at your reason. Moon-faced, water retentive, pot bellied...you’ve heard it all before. I’ll be out of the four - sized range of wardrobe/loft designer clothing soon. DIGRESS ALERT! Hey, shoulder pads really are coming back. My old flares undoubtedly wouldn’t fit and for those serious hippies amongst you back in the sixties I guess the loons would be out of the question (google ‘loons trousers’) Man-bags are even in M&S! Whatever fits I’ll have to wear. That would unfortunately be my Speedos or my last Pilots uniform or both together for that overly comfy feeling with an interesting walk when visiting Sainsburys. Either way I would be mentally sectioned within days. I wonder if my uniform hat does fit...it never did any harm under my armpit anyway, regardless of size. Having started writing all this rubbish, I may as well tell you that none of my crash helmets fit when I lose weight. Not just too large, but also extremely lumpy in places. No...not those sort of lumps. I guess the manufacturers never expect bikers to lose weight... It’s the leathers that normally shrink with time!!!
Well that’s it for now, I’ve finished my coffee and I’ve got to do some research into why National Express c2c Railways Fenchchurch Street Station have no passenger First Aiders or facilities when they have 15+ million passenger movements per year and every one of those movements involves multiple stairways and invariably hustling crowds. (arghh, the graphic now makes sense!) More on that and Virgin Holidays Cruises later.
Health stuff under the new medication is comfortable with no new side effects. I’d even go as far as to say that there are less, with a significant improvement to my hands and feet a fortunate beneficiary. As long as they are doing their job I’m happy. There is little else really to report unless you count the fatigue. So we all plod on regardless.
Just noticed the word count mentioned previously. 503 words is more than the story competition wants. I haven’t finished whinging by then, let alone write a story. Oh, and I’m over 13 (source: M&S collar size, or is that Chris’s?)
It’s a serious competition for those who have kids.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/500words/2012/ for those young at heart.
Ok, let’s go to my Virgin Cruises issues very very briefly...bulleted here;
• Virgin made a huge error last year and sent the family on the wrong cruise. However all of the paperwork reflected the cruise we had booked and naturally expected.
• Virgin had fought the possibility that they could be wrong, until they saw their own damning paperwork laid out in front of them.
• Score 1 – 0 Copley. They have now offered to refund the cruise price but not the flights to Miami in order to repeat the ‘correct’ cruise, which is unacceptable.
• ABTA (Association of British Travel Agents) are actively guiding my case, and with Virgin having already admitted liability for the cruise fiasco it should now progress fairly and logically. So my presentation is off my hands and into those of the Law within the legally binding Arbitration Scheme.
So you think I just sit here and type blog nonsense and create graphics? My case against Virgin Cruises I believe is a thing of ‘Rockstar’ damning beauty...and so much fun every 14 to 28 days as Virgin and I cross literary swords. Theirs may be a bigger one to bludgeon me...but mine is small and finely honed for slaying giants...well, irritating them at least!
The moral for Virgin
Don’t mess with a man who doesn’t sleep, is over fifty, with a computer to hand, and the taste of blood on his lips looking for the kill having been ‘dissed’ (google it Dad). Besides, it’s immense fun and largely free for us crotchety old guys to point out the stupidity and injustice that is so prevalent! Now who can carry my soap box (with a height restriction unless you have a hand rail. source HSE). Da!
Only 1000 words, damn...I’ve blown the writing competition in so many ways!
....but we all lived happily ever after.
The End
Richard
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